Chick to Chic

My wife grew up in the city and I in a bedroom community to the city, so when we bought a rural property and built a house, family and friends were surprised.

Country life seems idyllic in magazines. Yards are perfectly quaffed with fresh flowers growing everywhere surrounded by white wash fences. Grazing in the yard are beautiful exotic chickens with chicks in tow.

So, after the house and landscaping, you can imagine my first order of business with our new home was the building of a chicken coop. My coop took on grand scale, and became known as “Coop-De-Ville”. We were given some full grown hens and a rooster and bought some mail order chicks (Yes, they deliver them by mail) and learned the ropes of raising chickens for farm fresh eggs.

One thing I have learned from hobby farming is that anything we like to eat, so does almost anything else. Those fresh Berries we love are also enjoyed by birds. Grapes are candy to deer, bugs and turkeys. Chickens, those lovely birds you name and work so hard to raise – become a small, sad pile of feather remnants thanks to chicken hawks, weasels and the neighbor’s dogs. While I hate store bought eggs, I hate finding evidence of a lost hen even more. After many years of hens, we were down to one and then none.

The coop sat empty for a year and while I considered selling it I wasn’t eager to fight it onto a trailer. My wife kept showing me photos of “Cute” potting sheds that were the corollary to Man caves called “She Sheds” (Back to those darn magazines).

The old coop seemed like a great conversion project and I was going to do the work and then do an unveiling to my spouse, but decided that surprises were better received when we were younger. When I brought up the idea, she had informed me that I was a bit dense as the photo sharing was intended to get me to do it. The new “She Shed Coop” project of 2017 underway will incorporate the old roosting area into a chic potting shed. The old secure chick area will have a new deck and bug screens added to become a wine and book area for my wife and her friends and perhaps me if I am good. Although small, the 8×8 deck will be a great place to put a few chairs, a small table and put feet up as we contemplate moving back to a small yard and less work.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

May 29, 2017 0

We have nothing to fear but fear itself

I know that it may seem odd that my first post is a quote from Franklin Delano Roosevelt, not Teddy, but there is a very good reason. If I reflected on all the things I have ever regretted not doing, the reason has almost always been based on fear. Fear of failure, fear of looking silly, fear of not being liked, fear of losing, fear of winning. Our imaginations can stop us in our tracks by painting a very convincing picture of ourselves crashing and burning, to the point that we become paralyzed by it.

When I read books or blogs of people I admire they usually are based on a time in the authors life where they had to do something different. Even if it disrupted their entire lives they did it because they no longer feared the outcome. They needed change and it was needed now.

I was reminded of this as I stumbled upon a blog to which I have found myself glued. It happened when I overcame a recent fear, the fear of achieving a dream and yet another dream that followed.

To understand, we need to go back to a bedroom of a small boy in Minnesota. When I was young, I fell in love with the Porsche 911 sports car. The design and speed has intrigued me since I was 8 and like many young boys, my room was filled with car posters. All but one of mine were of Porsche’s. (The required Lamborghini Countach was in my room back then too). By high school, my first girlfriend had to endure many hours of boring conversation as I talked about them. She even was kind enough to go to races with me, where we could watch them fly past as I applauded in admiration. She looked into my eyes as I watched and told me that if I was ever to get one I would probably be so reckless I would drive it into a tree. Along with being pretty she was also smart and dumped me just before for college. Heartbroken, I figured she was right and scrapped that dream and replaced it with sailing.

I never bought a Porsche. (afraid to park it, afraid to not afford it, afraid…). When I found the love of my life, I got married and the dream was replaced with reality – being a family man with practical needs like a home, reliable family cars and family vacations. Each time I had some extra money that could be applied to my Porsche dream, I did the right thing and found a family solution: a family sized sailboat, a family sized motor home, paying off bills. In fact, I decided that perhaps I really didn’t want a Porsche because the 4 times I went to buy one, I came home with something else. But real dreams are meant to be stuck on you – they have purpose.

My son went to college and I was working so many hours in my real job and as Teddy that most of my recreational enjoyments had been replaced with work. The only time I had for any hobby was my commute. And so the Porsche bug bit again. I told my wife that I was looking and she had all sorts of reasons why we didn’t need one, and of course she was right. I had kept the dream secret from her, because thus far I had never acted on it. I promised her that the chances were slim I would find the car I wanted and not to worry. When I started seriously looking it was a painful process. I had a low budget and high expectations, a combination that seldom works. But the timing felt right somehow and so I kept on. My future car was waiting for me in Chicago, and with some airfare, a cashiers check and my son by my side, we drove it back to its new Minnesota home.

It’s only new in the sense that it is new to me. But like most people who have to wait 42 years for a dream to come true, it feels different to overcome my fear of doing it by just doing it. I find myself second guessing my actions constantly, but then I drive and all my pent up apprehensions just melt away. I know “Teddy” in a Porsche is weird. Welcome to my reality – I am weird.

As soon as it was in the garage I began to dream about a long trip in it. It so happens that in the fall of 2017 is my 25th wedding anniversary and while my bride and I were discussing what we should do, I said, “do you mind if we keep checking things off my bucket list?”. She listened and agreed.

If you don’t have a bucket list, make one NOW. Stop reading this blog and take out a pencil and paper or open the notes section on your phone. Research places to go, things to experience. LIVE LIFE, that’s why you are here on this planet. End of my bully pulpit speech.

My wife and I decided that given our budget, the only fancy part of the trip will be the car. Everything else will need to be frugal. What it means for us is visiting the National Parks the way they should be visited – camping in them.

Camping with a 911 Porsche means things must be the size of things that will fit into a backpack. I am a hiker, kayaker and bicyle touring guy, so the gear was mostly in place except for the one thing that has changed since I have aged – my need for back support. When my wife and I camp these days, we do so in cots. Those are way too big for a two week camping adventure of 3000 miles in a 911. Oh, and chairs. I need real ones with a back and where you can sit high off the ground as you admire a fire, for the same reason I need a good bed. Electronics. I like to document things with Camera’s – not just one, because there’s video that needs to be taken. Hiking sticks, can’t forget those, we’ll need those because I am not as nimble as I once was and I have the scars to prove it. You can see the challenge, small car combined with camping comfort. I needed ideas.

One of the things I have learned is that the internet is full of other people who have the same crazy idea as you and they have a need to share their experience, either to tell you how great it is, or to warn you. Wisdom from others can be your friend and for fearful people, they can be the best way to talk ourselves out of almost anything. I used my dear friend Google and searched “Camping in a Porsche 911”. I soon discovered that I am part of a handful of people who own a 911 that would have any interest in camping out of one. Most Porsche group websites recommend small luggage and a Visa card with a high limit. Most Porsche owners can afford it. For my wife and I, well one out of two ain’t bad.

Those who have done my dream are pretty much like me. Low budget, blue highway folks who are about the adventure and meeting new friends along the way. That brings me to a blog recommendation I found with my internet search. http://www.Johntesi.com One of my favorite books is “Blue Highways” by William Least Heat Moon. It is a modern adventure book about the search for ourselves through the connections with others. John figured this out, and his reflections as he travels with his Porsche meeting people and fly fishing keep me mesmerized. He questions himself constantly, brings his fears to the surface like a rainbow trout rising as he eyes a juicy fly. His is the kind of reflective writing that reminds me there is much more to life than the football score.

I recommend the aforementioned book and John’s blog as a way to stop and think and wonder. My recommendation is that you read them while enjoying a nice beer on a cool porch in a rocking chair. Absorb the message as you enjoy the scenery. That, after all, is really what life is about.

May 4, 2017 0

Exploring the Amazon

Teddy Roosevelt had the River of Doubt. It was a tributary of the Amazon. I have experienced the purchase of doubt, from the website, Amazon.

Planning a camping trip in a small Porsche means trying to imagine how to pack many things into a very small space. It also involves finding solutions so that things are convenient yet still packed carefully. There are two items that have dogged me in my search: A cell phone holder and camping chairs small enough that I can bring two of them and all the other gear we want to bring along. So far in my quest I have purchased three different cell phone holders.

The first had many features including a receptacle for additional chargeable items, a bending support brace to position the phone into almost any configuration and a phone holding contraption that I almost broke before I figured out how to open it. Online, it was perfect. In real life it was the size of one of my shoes. (Size 11 if you are shopping for me). Amazon should have a rule that everything sold online is placed next to something we all know the size of so we can actually gauge how big the item really is. This contraption is so large that instead of mounting it inside the sports car, it went into my very large truck, where it still looks quite big. Investment: $19.95+ shipping. Lesson: Things aren’t always as they appear.

Attempt number two moved me to the opposite end by selecting a low cost solution. This one utilized a design that clamped the phone into a miniature jaws of life with the entire contraption suction cupped to the dash or window. It appears to be made from recycled red solo cups but without the rigidity. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a smooth flat surface other than the tiny windshield to adhere it to. My lovely wife now uses it in her car. Investment: $5.00+ shipping. Lesson: Plastic comes in many strengths and is directly proportional to cost.

Even after exploring the vast expanse of the Amazon, they can’t lay claim to the solution I ended up finding. I follow the “three-strikes and you-are-out” approach to life, which meant I reached the end and needed to implement a real solution. That came from a Porsche parts supply company that had designed a magnet holder with a custom bracket. The bracket needed to be mounted behind a panel that required it be removed so that it had the “Original equipment” look. When you add “P” to the front of any word, it becomes expensive. “Parts”, “Phone”, “Porsche”. You get the drift. Investment $45.00+ shipping. Lesson learned – spend the money upfront and become that most realistic “P” word of all. Poor.

Remember I told you about how there should be a reference guide to sizing of things? Chairs are the perfect example. Here is a fun Google search for you. “Lightweight chairs for backpacking”. If you add the word “Affordable”, your search will bring back the laughing man emoji.

I have so many camping chairs that I am beside myself that I need to buy two more. But none of my existing chairs will fit. 911 Porsche’s have a “frunk” – a front trunk, because the engine is in the rear. Frunk’s are not large. Once you add a tent, sleeping bags, camping gear and the like, you have filled this area to capacity quickly and are left only with a very small back seat to put everything else. Understand, we are talking small. Shoe box small. Little kids are too big for the back seat small. Why the hell do they even call it a back seat small? They think a two people will sit there? Small.

That means luggage, a cooler and of course, those highly desired chairs are all fighting for the space. I found a chair used by the military that is supposed to break down very small. It probably does a great job inside a military transport plane, but it takes up the entire back seat of a 911 with room for nothing else. How do I know? I bought two of them. Cost – Return shipping.

There are inflatable chair options, but I want to sit by the fire with my lovely wife. One spark between us, or from the fire, and we are flat on the ground. Once on the ground, I will be laughing while I fight to right myself to try and get back up. Getting old is not fun.

I am in the deep weeds of the Amazon now as I search for the elusive “buttus sittus”. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will emerge with a photo of a bottle of whisky next to it so I have a reference on how big it truly is. Wish me luck!

May 4, 2017 0

Solace on a vacation

The actor Bill Murray once said “If you think you want to marry someone, take a trip around the world with them first”. I would have to agree. My experience is that travel can either be wonderful or stressful beyond belief and the person or persons you travel with make all the difference. Fortunately, I have a spouse who loves traveling and she agrees with me that the best travel means going with the flow.

After many years of travel, we have discovered some lessons I would like to share:

Itineraries should be loose – the journey is as much of the adventure as the destination. Tight schedules don’t allow you to venture off the beaten path to the Kaleidoscope factory in Iowa or the Chinese fortune cookie factory in Philly. Both of these things became highlights of trips we took because we just wandered and weren’t on a tight schedule to be somewhere.
Social media can be a useful gauge to others experience – but be open minded. Caution is key here. If you hate Disneyland and crowds and the rest of the world LOVES Disneyland and crowds, social media won’t be a great resource for you. You need to understand how you are different than the pack and judge accordingly. With that said, we have found some amazing places by using social media while traveling. My wife is great at it – as the above paragraph attests.
Don’t travel too far in one day. My personal rule is no more than 6 hours to the next destination. I prefer 1-3 hours to be honest, but sometimes that is not possible. A group planned trip to Ireland had spaced our destinations 4 hours apart – which proved to be grueling, and from that trip we changed how we visit Europe. Which brings us to my next recommendation.
Have a Basecamp and do short day trips from there. In Italy, we stayed at a single location for a week and took day-trips to various places. We didn’t see as much, but we saw a lot and came home relaxed and feeling like we had actually been on a vacation! It presented different challenges, such as language barriers and lessons in public transit, but that was part of going with the flow as well. We want to go back to Italy and do the same thing in a different region because we enjoyed it so much.
Enjoy a Basecamp that moves. I had never considered a cruise ship as something I would enjoy until one day I was waiting to go on stage and struck up a conversation with a woman who traveled with her husband around the world. She told me about their love of river cruising in Europe. “Your room moves with you and each day you are at a new location” she smiled. Let them drive and take you to the next location with no packing or unpacking.
Try and be a local. One of my biggest travel mistakes I ever made was looking too American in Ireland. Think Cowboy in Ireland and you have the idea. To say I stood out like a sore thumb would be an understatement and I became unapproachable because of it. For Italy I changed tactics and brought more “European” clothes and blended as best I could and it was a much more enjoyable trip. Being local also means supporting the smaller businesses, the local coffee shop and stores, not the chains. One of my favorite places is the Southern US – and by visiting the local shops you meet amazing people and get a much better flavor for the area than the local “Big box” store.
Visit the local grocery store – the more “local” the better! See what the locals eat. You will observe foods and seasonings that you have never seen before and may become addicted to a few of them (personal favorite “Slap yo mama” seasonings). You will also find that many of your favorites are something they have never heard of – I once tried to buy Bratwurst in Miami. At that time, they had no idea what it was.
Enjoy something each trip that is outside of your comfort zone. Jump off a cliff with a local paraglider guide; take falconry lessons; take kayaking lessons; hike to a waterfall that is a bit more distance than you would usually go. These places are where the memories are made!
Rent the Convertible or sports car. If you have an entire family this might not be the best advice, but if you are traveling and can get the right car to fit everyone and their gear, rent one that’s fun. It’s a vacation! You’ll never regret it.
Travel at least once by choosing a direction, not a destination. One summer we decided to go west. Not to a specific place in the west, the direction: West. We had no requirements other than to stay the course and keep moving west. It was one of our best trips. Now, we typically plan at least one trip per year by direction rather than destination, and it has allowed us to discover treasures within an hour or two of our home we would have never discovered. If you are a control nut and need everything planned to the minute detail, this will be hell for you. Do it anyway and go with the flow.
Get an early start before the crowds and go back in the evening when the crowds have left. My experience is that the crowds are usually from 10am to 4pm. Getting an early start allows you to see more, visit areas before the crowds and enjoy the day. I have photos from Yellowstone National Park that can only be captured by doing things early or late. The animals don’t like crowds and they hide until everyone is gone. Think like them and you’ll enjoy your trip a lot more!
ALWAYS carry a small backpack. Load it with warm clothing, an emergency blanket, energy bars, a flashlight, water and a water purifier, matches, a knife and first aid kit. Here is why. So far on our many adventures we have: Saved a lost family at dusk because my wife heard a faint yelling; given major first aid to a hiker who fell; provided first aid to me when I tumbled down a mountain path (My backpack saved my head from hitting a sharp rock as I tumbled.) It amazes me how poorly prepared people are when they hike and how quickly things happen. For 3-4 pounds of weight, you can save someone’s life and maybe even your own.
Don’t trust GPS alone. Use a map to understand where you are going, and perhaps carry an atlas or state map in addition to your GPS. GPS is great, but far from perfect, and the same can be said for maps. The combination of both seems to be fairly fool-proof.
Be adaptable and easy to travel with. My wife and I each have travel strengths and weaknesses and we leverage each others strength’s when we travel. But the most important skill we both have is the ability to adapt quickly and be flexible. It’s the key to mostly stress-free travel. It’s a lot easier to ask for help or share ideas than to be a bonehead and do something because you need to be in control.
Don’t make a vacation the same as work. It can feel at times like you should see everything you can. You don’t need to and shouldn’t try. Seeing 10 things quickly doesn’t give you the same experience as seeing one thing in amazing detail. Slow down and enjoy where you are and take in what you are seeing. Read the details and gain a broader perspective of the “why” – why did the sculptor sculpt, why did Teddy Roosevelt save it, why did the Native American’s revere it? There is a story behind everything and seeing it is great, but understanding it is even better. Oh, and put the damn phone in your pocket and enjoy what is in front of you!

As I am planning our 25th Anniversary trip I find that I am making far too many agendas and not allowing for enough adventures and am adjusting accordingly. The greatest memories I have are not of the places that so many of us crowd to see, but often are the experiences along the way.

May 4, 2017 0