I love small towns in the summer.  They are the places where almost every neighbor gathers for the local corn feed in support of the fire department or attends the church social where they connect to listen to good and even occasionally bad music.  They buy a donated pie or other baked goods and more often than not drink a beer or five.  It is there where you will see the old couple dancing to every song and the local young people carefully jockeying for an opportunity to speak to the person who catches their eye.  It’s where you experience the local farmer bachelor who serves the world best by remaining that way – both as a farmer and bachelor.

Recently, my spouse and I went to the local church celebration the next town over.  The event was their summer celebration, which featured many local polka bands, a pork dinner with dumplings and the preferred light beer all my neighbors drink.  I have yet to acquire a taste for it, but I drink it to support the church.  Honest!

We don’t attend that church, but many of our neighbors do, and one of them performs in a band that was playing there, so we wanted to take in the music and just spend a summer Sunday afternoon relaxing and enjoying his talent.  The town is incredibly small, perhaps less than 300 residents and boasts only a Catholic Church and a Bar.  My son refers to this as “The perfect town”.

It may not come as a surprise, but I am known to chat up the person sitting next to me, a habit I have developed from many years of being nosy.

When I sat down and began my introduction, Dorothy introduced herself as a widow.  It was a title I could tell she had a hard time with yet had been one for almost 6 years.  The pain however was still fresh.  She leaned into my wife and I to talk, careful that her words would drown out the music we were all listening too.

“Retire young.  Don’t wait until 67 or 68 or whatever they tell you.  Retire and live within your means and go on adventures.  Don’t look back”. She looked sad as she pushed out the words.

As she spoke, I realized that her dearly departed and I shared a similar view of life.  One where you encourage a spur of the moment trip or just point yourself to a direction and set your sails.

I have been told by more than a few people that what I do is unique.  The fact that I might come home on a Friday and tell my wife, “Get packed, we are leaving at 6 am”.  I am only now beginning to understand this is not normal.  My wife always asks where we are going and my answer is almost always the same.  “Do you always have fun on our trips?”  (She does).  “Pack and be ready” I smile as I grab my already packed bag.

As Dorothy spoke to us, I felt bad for her, certainly in part because of the loss of her loved one, but perhaps more so the loss of adventures she and her husband enjoyed.  I hope if I leave any impression behind by this writing it is this: Don’t rely on others to set your sail, learn to set your own.  Adventure starts within.  If you can find an adventure partner, even better.

Just as Dorothy said to us “Go on adventures and don’t look back”.

Our adventures always relax us and educate us.  They give is perspective, sometimes how others live better than us, but more often than not, how lucky we really are to be healthy, active and alive.

Take the time to explore, to open your mind. Don’t be afraid to shuck responsibility once in a while to just be curious.  Most of all, enjoy this incredibly short time we are placed on this planet to do something awesome.  I promise you will never regret it.

I have a wonderful spouse who views weekends as time we should use to “catch-up” on our projects.  For years, I have embraced this as a standing order for committing these two most important days for work.  With a full-time job and a very busy part time job, it can be far too easy to forget to take time to recharge my physical and emotional batteries.

Before I “grew up” and burdened my life with too much responsibility, I would bicycle tour the backroads, sail, canoe or kayak on my weekends.  Now, I am so busy that I seldom get to enjoy those things.  In fact, I recently decided to sell some of my recreational equipment since I wasn’t using them.  When I told my wife and son that I was selling my kayaks, they both went into shock.  “You love to kayak” they both yelled at me. “Yes, but I don’t have time to use them, and they are too expensive to just have around not being used”. Don’t sell them, they both said in unison.

Then it hit me.  I had been led astray from the things that gave me joy and which I needed for my own sanity.  Those have been replaced with a new mistress of projects that never ended.  Most of which had become a burden I had wrought upon myself.  My own necessity for keeping busy had taken me away from the things that brought me health and wellness and sanity.  My good friend once said of me, “You need to learn the word – no”. He is so right.  I had said yes to a life of projects that grew larger each month.

This year, I purposely kept my calendar open so I could enjoy some of the pursuits I love.  Instead of traveling to entertain someone else while they are recreating, I am traveling for my own purpose, to recreate and enjoy some things I haven’t in years.  My spouse is not pleased when she informs me that x, y and z need to get done and my response is “it will be there when we get back”.  It can sound like I am procrastinating by saying what I am saying, but the reality is, I am not procrastinating, I am extending my life.  Those projects will be there when I return, and I can chip away at them all week long.  But I will never get back the days I neglected to see a friend, or paddle a wild river, or watch a waterfall; or sit by a campfire.

I chose many years ago to live in the country because I wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city.  Instead, I created a new country style hustle and bustle.  One where the lawn is much larger; the woods are in constant need of care; the vines in need of pruning.  I replaced one hectic lifestyle with  another. The reality is, work is never ending, but life is.

We have a finite time on this planet and the older you get, the more you realize how short our time is.  Don’t burden yourself with projects, enrich yourself with memories. Don’t worry, that project will still be there when you get back.

In this blog I have highlighted some issues I have experienced with my own desire for retirement and some observations on how to get there realistically.  I think there is hope on the horizon.

For many years, I have been following the “Tiny house Movement”.    I like the idea because it forces people to dispense with their “wants” and forces them to live within their “needs”.  To understand what I mean, consider this: The average new home built today is over 2300 square feet, while a Tiny Home is defined as being under 500 square feet.  Imagine taking your life and cutting it into a 1/5 and living within that parameter.  In that amount of space, you choose wisely what is needed, because you don’t have any space for anything else. The Tiny House has more than internal space challenges however, it fights many external space challenges as well.

America is considered to be the “Land of the Free”, until you have the bold audacity to break from the norm and suggest a new way to think.  Tiny Homes could be embraced as a great housing solution for those who want to live within their means and frugally, yet the major issue with Tiny Homes has been local zoning laws that require structures meet minimum size requirements.  A 1000 square foot house was normal in the 1950’s but sitting beside a Tiny Home it looks like a Mansion.  Communities with “McMansions” don’t want a Tiny home on the lot next door for the same reason and have made it clear to Tiny Home owners they will not tolerate them because they will erode their property values.  I can understand this, but I also know that many of those McMansion owners would probably learn more from that tiny home owner about living a purposeful life than from their neighbor who looks like they have achieved everything and has a banker calling them daily to remind them they still need to pay for it.

I don’t believe that Tiny Homes are a fad as some do.  Living small is normal in Europe, and in the U.S., more and more people are moving to urban settings which are usually smaller than their suburban counterparts. IKEA has shown that there demand for smaller sized, utilitarian products that are less expensive.  Large retail is being replaced by smaller, craftsman type retailers.  American Society is shifting slowly from the “Everything BIG” to a more livable functional space. this is occurring very slowly, and mostly by younger generations who have seen the burden of their parents need-more-stuff lifestyle.

Space saving and frugality is evident in our work lives as well.  Many jobs are now mostly computer based. This creates the ability for work to be mobile through the internet.  Go to any coffee shop in a major city and you will see the new American office, a two-foot by two-foot area with a laptop computer and a good cup of coffee. Smaller, efficient (your rent is a coffee) and probably more productive because on Monday morning you aren’t comparing weekends with your coworkers.

This brings me hope that as people think smaller, community can become bigger.  In some Tiny Home communities, they have built common areas for gathering, cooking and socializing.  You can’t have a party for 10 in most Tiny Homes, so community spaces, restaurants and parks become the community area.  Bringing people together because of the shared smallness is perhaps the next big trend that the U.S. could enjoy.  Frankly, I think that would be a good thing.

I am at the age now I consider to be the most difficult of my life.  I am looking ahead 10 years and I am fearful of retirement.  I am not fearful of the experience. Everyone I know who is retired loves it.

People I know, who are like me, are fearful of retirement because of the unknowns. Where will I live? How can I support my lifestyle?  Will I run out of money? What if I…….?  I have friends who continue to work because of the costs of health insurance once out of the workforce.  Fear, fear and more fear.

The U.S Government has tried to quell my fears by designing a “retirement system” that targets my “get out of job jail” age at 67 years old if I wish to take advantage of all of the benefits. That retirement number seems to creep up each year as the Social Security fund decreases.  As someone who frankly doesn’t want to work in a traditional sense until age 67, I hope I can impart some wisdom on how I would have done things differently if I had known what I know now as I am doing my retirement planning for the closer, but still distant, future.  This is a road guide for those my son’s age or those who can perhaps turn their own ship by thinking differently:

1. Live well below your means. I am impressed with my son’s generation in their belief of experience over stuff.  But experiences can be very expensive too.  A $7 pint of beer at the local craft brewery should be an appreciated luxury and not a daily occurrence, especially if you started the day with a $5 latte.  $12 may not sound like much until you do the math to figure out if you did it every day, that’s $4380 per year in just beverages.  That’s 10% of your income if you make $43,000 per year!
2. Be educated, not edu-poor. I think a college degree should be obtained when you truly desire a job that requires it.  I also support the idea that jobs with that requirement should pay accordingly.  Pursuing a Master’s Degree for a role that pays almost the same as minimum wage should never ever be pursued if it means going into debt to do it.  I appreciate socially responsible careers but if you will be paying student loans for 20 years to do so, it is not a personally responsible move on your part and you need to weigh all of your options. Don’t give up your career dream, just think of better ways to accomplish the outcome without sacrificing your future finances to do it.  Also, don’t listen to a culture that shames you into college if it isn’t your fit. Don’t be afraid to explore the trades and work a job that usually pays better for often more freedom than corporate America.  You should do what makes you happy and fulfills you, not society’s idea of what you should do.
3. Buy a small, affordable home or duplex. The only long-term debt I recommend is a home. A small home in a safe neighborhood.  You need someplace to live, and home ownership is usually cheaper than rent (BUT NOT ALWAYS!) You will make about 3% on the investment long term and there are some other savings, such as lower car insurance, etc. that you get from being a home owner.   You can rent out rooms and cover your monthly costs, meaning you can live close to “rent” free or actually make money.
4. Pay yourself first. Each month put money into YOU accounts.  Create savings accounts, investment accounts, travel accounts, fun accounts and budget money into each.  Pay those bills first.  The leftover is your monthly budget for everything else.  You will quickly see where your money goes, and how much you will need to live on (and how much is wasted).
5. Stop thinking everyone else makes more money than you. It’s usually not true, but it can sure feel that way.  When friends are posting online their fancy restaurant visits, weekend get-a way’s and new boats and cars, it doesn’t take long to feel poor.  Looking rich but being poor because of debt is self inflicted and avoidable.  Expenses that are financed monthly payments to a bank are stressful and honestly something I would happily take back from my youth as foolish self-gratitude.  Be happy being debt free and consider that wealth. (Because it really, really is – net worth is calculated as what you have left when you subtract what you owe)
6. Build passive income streams. Rental property is a great passive investment that pay’s you every month (if you bought it correctly).  Is it work to own rental property?  Yes, but much less than a 40 hour a week job.  It doesn’t pay as much because it isn’t a 40 hour per week job – that’s why it is called passive.  When you retire, you will need income streams – the more you have the better your retirement.  Retirement implies that you will not be working, so where will your income come from?   The easiest will be passive income: Your 401k, your ROTH, savings and other passive money coming to you that isn’t a job.  Investing early gives you freedom to retire early.
7. Don’t put all of your retirement money in 401k’s and Roth retirement funds.  (I didn’t say don’t put money in them!)  Income streams outside of retirement plans means you can retire earlier.  I can’t touch the money inside of my retirement plans until I am at least 59 1/2 because my money isn’t mine without penalty.  Have money in investments that pay you well before “retirement age”.  Yes, you will have to pay taxes on it, so what?  At least you have income! (You pay taxes on your income you “work for”, remember?)
8. Pay cash for every car you ever own. I love cars, always have.  But, If you can’t afford it, you weren’t meant to have it.  Owning a cars is a huge expense most of us will always have.  99% of vehicles are a depreciating asset, meaning everyday you own it, it costs you money.  Let’s say I lose 10% value of a car by owning it – would I be better off losing $4000 on $40,000, or $1000 on $10,000?  Said another way, what could I do with $3000 more dollars per year ($250 a month) because I didn’t buy the $40,000 car?  Your “Pay yourself first” fund is the place you will find the funds for your car, and believe me, once you work hard to save it, you’ll won’t buy as expensive of a car vs. when the bank financed it.
9. Build a wealth of friendships. Why own a cabin when you have a friend with a cabin who loves when you visit?  My grandfather visited friends all over the world during his retirement years and they loved him for it.  I enjoy having guests visit and it doesn’t cost them anything but sharing good stories that make me laugh.   In the end, it is the friendships that we make in life that give us wealth.
10. Plan your life for a life of joy. The best things in life aren’t things.  I personally believe they are a supportive spouse with a shared vision; children who live purposeful and happy lives; friends who you enjoy and enjoy you.  Almost all that stuff you acquire along the way will lose monetary value, and in the end will be something you need to store someplace, dispose of (which you will have difficulty selling and nobody wants) and represent memories that are really only yours.  There is an old saying in the natural conservation world that I think could easily be applied to our entire lives:  Take only pictures, leave only footprints, save only memories.

These are some of the many life wisdom’s I would have imparted to a younger me.  I hope you will share them with someone, along with your own tips.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

If you follow this blog, I hope you have seen a theme emerge: Life is an adventure, live it. 

I have seen my share of friends and loved ones suffer health issues, personal demons, and even death at an early age.  Many never make or made the time to have an adventure.  Some even hung badges of honor on themselves for never using their vacation days.  It saddens me how prevalent this theme is, especially with my U.S. friends.  I want to share with you some insights I have learned in my 55+ years on this planet.

Insight One – Travel changes you.

I will never forget the a little old woman in Italy told me about enjoying sweet wine with bread.  We spoke different languages and the only way she could tell me was with her hands and a wink and her smile.  It was one of the best conversations I have ever had.  It had a profound effect on educating me that communication is a full body process, not just words.  That would have never happened if I had not been in a small town in Italy with a language barrier.  Mark Twain said it best: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

Insight Two – Travel can (and should) be inexpensive.

Maggie and I are laser focused on low cost travel.  People may think we have a huge travel budget – We don’t.  We likely paid far less for our two-week trip to Europe than you did for one week at an in-state resort.  (Yes, even with airfare) Our strategy is very straight-forward.

1. We have bucket list of destinations but not a “time requirement” of when we need to see them.
2. We set a budget, then watch for deals, use credit card points, etc. to get us to where we want to go.
3. We prefer to travel pre-season and off season. The weather is often better (for our preference anyway), there are almost no tourists and, prices are often much lower.
4. The locals are usually more helpful because they don’t have to deal with tourists!
5. We pre-travel via blogs and reading so we know what we don’t want to miss once we have booked our trip.
6. We pay attention to the free options: We picnic, find the free hot springs, listen to the music in the park. If you have pre-planned every day to the minute detail at the local tourist traps, you’ll likely miss the real adventure hotspot.  We still talk about the free “hippy dip” on the Colorado river where the hot spring is free for everyone.  Recently, a Paris highlight was eating a picnic under a bridge during a rainstorm as teenagers around us played drums and flutes.
7. Fun is where you make it and it doesn’t have to cost much or anything.

Insight Three – SLOW DOWN.

We took a very inexpensive trip to Ireland a few years ago that was very comprehensive – but it required us to see too many things in a short period.  Our itinerary placed us in many different towns all across the country which meant we spent a lot of time driving, squeezing in “Must visit” areas quickly.  On paper the trip looked awesome, but it was far too hectic.  It was enjoyable but nowhere near as fun as spending a week in one place and taking day trips at our leisure.  Vacations are meant to relax and re-energize.  Hurry – is the same as work.

Insight Four – Adapt to your surroundings.

Why go to Paris and eat a Hamburger and Fries?  Try the Fois Gris, (Goose liver)  the steak Tartar (raw steak) the Escargot (snails).  If you can’t adjust your thinking and adapt to your surroundings, you won’t be a good traveler.  Here is an example: Finding a public bathroom in Europe can be like finding a needle in a haystack.  Be prepared to dig into your pocket for some money to use one once you find one.  Expect there to be a long line and go with the flow

One time we were in a tourist information center in Pisa and a young American woman traveling with her parents asked for a bathroom.  She was told a public restroom was a few blocks away.  Her face went to anger as she huffed to everyone loudly “This country is awful!”  I was embarrassed to be in the same country with her.  She would have been much happier staying at home, and so would have Italy.

Insight five – Go to the local pub.

Pubs are the great equalizer, where the town dog catcher and the doctor share time together.

I always order the local drink just to get a true flavor of the area. I was shocked the bitterness of the preferred cocktails in Rome.  They weren’t for me, but conversely, if I had never tried Guinness in Ireland, I would have never known that it was a totally different product (and MUCH better) than what we drink in the US.

Pubs are the common denominator in any society.  You don’t have to drink alcohol to experience the comradery of a pub, and the locals are just as curious about you as you are them.  You might be surprised to learn there is a good chance most know more about American History and politics than you.  Certainly, more than you know about theirs.  Become one of them while you visit and make new friends and be educated.

Insight six – You have to overcome Television as American culture perception.

My son was asked once in Europe: “What kind of gun do you bring to school?”.  They were serious!  Their perception of us is based on TV news and shows like Married with Children, Cops and the Kardashians.  Yes, they get these shows and many honestly believe this accurately portrays our lives in America.  See the problem?  As travelers, we need to explain our reality and what they see on TV is not our culture but “entertainment”.

Insight Seven – Try to learn at least a few words of their language.

I hate it when someone say’s “why can’t they just speak our language?”   I will tell you why – It’s not that easy.  Languages are hard to learn.  I am terrible at French, I understand some Italian and am slightly better at German.  When I say “better” it means I can say hello, Thank you, order a beer, ask for the bathroom and nod agreeably.   When someone tries to speak to you in even broken English in the U.S, I hope you give the courtesy of respect for trying to converse with you and smile while working hard to help them with what they seek.  It will come back in spades when you go to their country and need help.

Insight Eight – Leave your American ego at the door.

The trains in many countries in Europe run better than ours.  The worst bakeries in Paris still make our best breads look pathetic. Their people live longer, score higher on happiness scales, and have less people confined to prison.

Travel has a way of opening your eyes that other countries have some things figured out much better than we do.    I live in a great country, but it’s not the only great country.  There are a lot of them, each with strengths and weaknesses, just like ours.  Leave your bias at the door when you travel and be objective.  Sure, you will immediately see things we do better, but with an open mind, you may come home and say to yourself, “boy, it would be nice if….”

Insight Nine – Real things are better than fake things.

New York, New York in Las Vegas is nothing like New York, New York.  It is not a substitute to enjoying the real thing. I like adventure wherever it takes me, but I would never expect a “fake destination” that tried to recreate a real place to be as good.  If done properly, it should inspire you to want to dream to see the real thing, but don’t assume you have experienced the same thing, you haven’t.

Insight Ten – Traveling requires some moxie.

Travel may require some bravery and a bit of moxie and always some calendar flexibility.  Flights get cancelled, city workers go on strike, taxi drivers rip you off.  It’s not always easy to travel across town, let alone across the globe.  You will be forced at times to explore and initiate a plan “B”.

Travel requires the ability to adapt and learn skills you didn’t know you had.  Reading a train schedule in Italy requires knowing they call Florence = Firenze. It means knowing 14:30 is 2:30 in the afternoon.  It means knowing that the final destination of the train is what you need to know so you catch the train going the direction you want to travel.  Along the way, you will need to ask someone’s help to understand the ticket dispensing machine and you may need to ask several people before you get the one who can help you.  That’s the fun of travel, it can be a puzzle at times that you have to solve.

Final Thoughts

Travel requires life skills that are essential- Adaptability, problem solving, communication, awareness, listening and basic math.  It requires compromise, asking for help and most of all, laughter.  In the end, you will grow because of it, and if you took what this blog said to heart, once you return from your trip, you will start almost immediately dreaming of the next one.

Life is a roller coaster, not a merry-go-round!  Live the adventure.

I had yet another lesson yesterday I needed to share.  I am at the age where many people solicit me about “retirement” planning.  These calls are valuable because they help me think about how I am going to plan to live my life on a “fixed income”, at least ten years from now.

Another light bulb moment. My household already is on a fixed income.  My wife and I have full time jobs that pay a fairly consistent amount which means our household income from month to month is pretty much the same.  When we retire, where the money originates will change, and it too will be “fixed”. The real-life lesson has always been about how to live within your means. The more “means” you have, the better you live.  Duh.  But most of us don’t live within our means.  It’s cloaked in a new term “life-style”.  How much money will you need to live your current lifestyle?  I have no idea.

Here is what the expert on the phone told me: “You need to retire to Florida. I have lots of clients in Florida”.   Ok, move to Florida. Got it.  “But don’t buy, you can rent for only $5000 a month”.  I almost fell out of my chair. I was told, by a financial expert, that I should spend $60,000 a year on housing, in retirement, on a property that I will have no equity and no possibility for an upside. Zero. Nada. None.  For those wondering, $5000 a month would at current interest rates buy you a $1.2 million-dollar home or as I would call it, one hell of a lifestyle.  Way better than now! He had my attention.  I wasn’t sure how he planned to do it because I used to be a banker and I knew a few things.

A quick bankers Lesson, the 28% Housing Payment Rule: This rule focuses strictly on your mortgage payment. Lenders who care about you keep the payment at 28% of your gross monthly income. The calculation is as follows: Gross monthly income x 0.28 = Maximum monthly mortgage payment.  Using this calculation, what this financial guru told me is, during retirement, I can live in Florida on the measly household monthly income of only $17,857.14.   That’s “take home” (after taxes) pay of just $214,285 a year!  This guy is good, I need him!  He can find me $17,857 a month after taxes!

Ok, how much do I need to do that need you ask?  For those wondering how you too can hit that amazing number, if you take out 5% annually (so you can preserve that pretty nest egg), you only need $4.3 million dollars in retirement savings.  Oh, but that doesn’t include Social Security, so you can probably get by on $3.75 million.  Yeah, that’s not happening for me or most of you.   As I reminded you in American Dream posting number one, 96% of Americans do NOT have even $1 million dollars.  If you are average, you are not even close.  The average American family has $163,577 total saved for retirement at age 61.  That’s not annual, that’s total dollars before Social Security or pension.   My parents have told me “You will have a hard time living only on Social Security”.  What?

No wonder all the scammers prey on Florida!  Victims have been herded down there for the financial slaughter by professional retirement planners.

I have finally figured out I can’t afford the American Dream others believe I am entitled to have.  I am more frugal than that and believe me when I tell you I am really bad at being frugal.  There are a few moments when I broke my mold and demonstrated at least a little financial sensibility.

Many years ago, before it was fashionable, I took a great deal of abuse for buying a car on the internet. The car was $4000 less in Texas than in my home state, so I recruited my friend Larry and we flew to Dallas for $250 and drove the car home.  If I told you how many people said to me “I wouldn’t do that for only $4000”.  O.K, it was everyone.   I viewed it then and now differently, I got paid $3750 for a weekend of driving with my buddy.  We solved a lot of the world problems on that ride and I had $3750 to use elsewhere.  I wish I had invested it, but I didn’t think about the fact I might retire some day and would need it.   If I had, I would only need to find that missing $3.6 million for retirement right now.

I am learning though.  My wife and I recently spent a Saturday in drivers training to save 10% annually on our car insurance.  Only a few friends we told thought they could find the time to do such a silly thing.  I get it, time is money and getting paid the equivalent of $89 per hour isn’t really worth it for most.

That’s because we have been trained on the idea of saving, even by using our time to do so, is seen as an unrealistic expectation.  You could be using that time to get more stuff!

Instead, many of us have decided to live the American Dream as consumers saddled in debt.  Mind boggling, stress inducing, keeping up with the Jones debt.  The marketers are smart, they called it “lifestyle” and brand it with products only those in the lifestyle can have. It’s a trick called “exclusivity” and it preys on our instincts to have something we can’t.

Well, everyone else can’t, but I can if I am willing to spend only $5000 a month in Florida.  Yeah for me.