The actor Bill Murray once said “If you think you want to marry someone, take a trip around the world with them first”.   I would have to agree.  My experience is that travel can either be wonderful or stressful beyond belief and the person or persons you travel with make all the difference.  Fortunately, I have a spouse who loves traveling and she agrees with me that the best travel means going with the flow.

After many years of travel, we have discovered some lessons I would like to share:

1. Itineraries should be loose – the journey is as much of the adventure as the destination.  Tight schedules don’t allow you to venture off the beaten path to the Kaleidoscope factory in Iowa or the Chinese fortune cookie factory in Philly.  Both of these things became highlights of trips we took because we just wandered and weren’t on a tight schedule to be somewhere.
2. Social media can be a useful gauge to others experience – but be open minded. Caution is key here.  If you hate Disneyland and crowds and the rest of the world LOVES Disneyland and crowds, social media won’t be a great resource for you.  You need to understand how you are different than the pack and judge accordingly.  With that said, we have found some amazing places by using social media while traveling.  My wife is great at it – as the above paragraph attests.
3. Don’t travel too far in one day.   My personal rule is no more than 6 hours to the next destination.  I prefer 1-3 hours to be honest, but sometimes that is not possible. A group planned trip to Ireland had spaced our destinations 4 hours apart – which proved to be grueling, and from that trip we changed how we visit Europe.  Which brings us to my next recommendation.
4. Have a Basecamp and do short day trips from there.  In Italy, we stayed at a single location for a week and took day-trips to various places.  We didn’t see as much, but we saw a lot and came home relaxed and feeling like we had actually been on a vacation!  It presented different challenges, such as language barriers and lessons in public transit, but that was part of going with the flow as well.  We want to go back to Italy and do the same thing in a different region because we enjoyed it so much.
5. Enjoy a Basecamp that moves.  I had never considered a cruise ship as something I would enjoy until one day I was waiting to go on stage and struck up a conversation with a woman who traveled with her husband around the world. She told me about their love of river cruising in Europe.  “Your room moves with you and each day you are at a new location” she smiled.   Let them drive and take you to the next location with no packing or unpacking.
6. Try and be a local.  One of my biggest travel mistakes I ever made was looking too American in Ireland. Think Cowboy in Ireland and you have the idea.  To say I stood out like a sore thumb would be an understatement and I became unapproachable because of it.  For Italy I changed tactics and brought more “European” clothes and blended as best I could and it was a much more enjoyable trip.  Being local also means supporting the smaller businesses, the local coffee shop and stores, not the chains.  One of my favorite places is the Southern US  – and by visiting the local shops you meet amazing people and get a much better flavor for the area than the local “Big box” store.
7. Visit the local grocery store – the more “local” the better!  See what the locals eat.  You will observe foods and seasonings that you have never seen before and may become addicted to a few of them (personal favorite “Slap yo mama” seasonings). You will also find that many of your favorites are something they have never heard of – I once tried to buy Bratwurst in Miami.  At that time, they had no idea what it was.
8. Enjoy something each trip that is outside of your comfort zone.  Jump off a cliff with a local paraglider guide; take falconry lessons; take kayaking lessons; hike to a waterfall that is a bit more distance than you would usually go.  These places are where the memories are made!
9. Rent the Convertible or sports car.  If you have an entire family this might not be the best advice, but if you are traveling and can get the right car to fit everyone and their gear, rent one that’s fun. It’s a vacation! You’ll never regret it.
10. Travel at least once by choosing a direction, not a destination.  One summer we decided to go west.  Not to a specific place in the west, the direction: West.  We had no requirements other than to stay the course and keep moving west.  It was one of our best trips.  Now, we typically plan at least one trip per year by direction rather than destination, and it has allowed us to discover treasures within an hour or two of our home we would have never discovered.  If you are a control nut and need everything planned to the minute detail, this will be hell for you.  Do it anyway and go with the flow.
11. Get an early start before the crowds and go back in the evening when the crowds have left.  My experience is that the crowds are usually from 10am to 4pm.  Getting an early start allows you to see more, visit areas before the crowds and enjoy the day.  I have photos from Yellowstone National Park that can only be captured by doing things early or late.   The animals don’t like crowds and they hide until everyone is gone. Think like them and you’ll enjoy your trip a lot more!
12. ALWAYS carry a small backpack.  Load it with warm clothing, an emergency blanket, energy bars, a flashlight, water and a water purifier, matches, a knife and first aid kit.  Here is why. So far on our many adventures we have: Saved a lost family at dusk because my wife heard a faint yelling; given major first aid to a hiker who fell; provided first aid to me when I tumbled down a mountain path (My backpack saved my head from hitting a sharp rock as I tumbled.)  It amazes me how poorly prepared people are when they hike and how quickly things happen. For 3-4 pounds of weight, you can save someone’s life and maybe even your own.
13. Don’t trust GPS alone.  Use a map to understand where you are going, and perhaps carry an atlas or state map in addition to your GPS.  GPS is great, but far from perfect, and the same can be said for maps.  The combination of both seems to be fairly fool-proof.
14. Be adaptable and easy to travel with.  My wife and I each have travel strengths and weaknesses and we leverage each others strength’s when we travel.  But the most important skill we both have is the ability to adapt quickly and be flexible.  It’s the key to mostly stress-free travel.  It’s a lot easier to ask for help or share ideas than to be a bonehead and do something because you need to be in control.
15. Don’t make a vacation the same as work.  It can feel at times like you should see everything you can.  You don’t need to and shouldn’t try.  Seeing 10 things quickly doesn’t give you the same experience as seeing one thing in amazing detail.  Slow down and enjoy where you are and take in what you are seeing.  Read the details and gain a broader perspective of the “why” – why did the sculptor sculpt, why did Teddy Roosevelt save it, why did the Native American’s revere it?  There is a story behind everything and seeing it is great, but understanding it is even better. Oh, and put the damn phone in your pocket and enjoy what is in front of you!

As I am planning our 25th Anniversary trip I find that I am making far too many agendas and not allowing for enough adventures and am adjusting accordingly.   The greatest memories I have are not of the places that so many of us crowd to see, but often are the experiences along the way.